Wednesday, February 23, 2011

that's the way it's gonna be =D

The picture. uhh i wanted to sneeze hahahah =D

Words and i are no longer in a good term. I've lost the urge to speak English, ( Now i speak barbarian language that i, myself dont understand), and lost the urge to write. There's a gigantic lump that has been growing inside my head recently . I love to write and i am pretty sure it loves me too ( not ) but by some means, we are not sleeping in the same bed no more. I hope i won't be getting any divorced letter soon..

I just feel like composing something so here goes. I've been falling in and out of love for roughly about , subtract 1 and several months from 5 years. It wasn't easy. I broke people's heart and likewise, i got my heart broken . Like a vicious circle! It goes and on and on so i pulled off for a while. Catching a long deep deep breathe. Unfortunately, still catching. . Now i am almost breathless. It took me months to finally get a grip of my real self, balanced it out a bit and what not. When someone says, you don't need someone to live. Well there was a phase where i believed in that.. but after millions of ticking sounds that buzzed inside my ear, it isn't entirely true peeps. Of course we do!

I have this 'miserable' mood, blinking like a LED sign inside my head. It goes on and off. It was permanently on back then but now, i guess the current inside the circuit is not flowing right. I am happy with my life. I have this artificial hypothesis, inside my head saying ' don't screw the chance to be happy now. wait , keep on waiting and the real guy will come to you'. So i did it. I waited. Still waiting. I get baffled most of the time, thinking maybe if he's the one, or him or that guard, or that janitor. But i had enough with that. As much as i want the heartbreaks to end, as much as i i want the next relationship to be the last one, i know i can't be prophesying the future. I'll just stick to wherever the 'river' flows and be happy.