Saturday, May 14, 2011

letter to my boyfriend

Dear boyfriend,

I know, words don't speak but here I am, scribbling this letter with my heart beating loud with sincerity. Believe me when i say, every words that you are glancing at , are coming straight from my heart, not from my butt.

A year ago, my life has been nothing but wrapped with terrifically monotonous scenes. I was living life with a horribly wounded heart. I was cold and insensitive a year ago. I had a solid belief that there's no way i am gonna get myself attached to anyone. Though i tried to liquefy it at times, i failed horribly. There were a few welcoming hearts that offered me solace, as much as i wanted to give relationship a try, i knew i could never love them. Ever. Then, you, guiltlessly walked into my life, cluelessly and aimlessly. Unlike any other human beings that i speak to everyday, you were smothered with absurdity. In a good way. I could talk to you all day, making the word 'tedious' and it's siblings faded from my vocabulary inevitably.

From an uninteresting chapter, it became marvelous. Because of you. I never knew how littlest thing that you said to me could mean so much to me.

I remember, waiting and wishing for you to say 'hi' to me everyday. I know you never say hi. Your 'hello' is a bit too peculiar. I never knew why after all people, not talking to you for a day would make me frown in return. I didn't grasp the reasons to all my unusual behaviors but i just know that you were the answer to all the things that were happening to me. I remember, sitting at the side of my bed, pondering.. I thought, hey there's no reason for me to care about you.. There's no happy endings and of course, you will never be mine.. I remember, asking mom if putting towering hopes on you and knowing the upshots too are all worth the ache. I remember crying myself to sleep, for not knowing what i should do too. You you you. It's all about you baby.

But to brush off those pessimism that my mind gave birth to, you are now mine. It's been 2 months since we became one piece. There were moments when i still look at you, and whispered to myself this, 'This was the guy that gave me so much thoughts to think about. This was the guy that i was crazy about and still is. This was the guy that i almost gave up on. This was the guy that made me think that, it was nearly too impossible for you to like me in return, let alone, love me. This was the guy that i never thought i would love this much. This was the guy that has been making me feel so darn miserable back then'

Was , were. They are all past tenses. Loving the present and i'm anxious to know what our 'will' gonna turn out to be.

I love you and i do mean these 8 common letters whenever i say this to you.


your girlfriend