Sunday, August 29, 2010

Chronicle of a fairytale

edibledarkmark:  expectofuckingpatronum:  (via letstakeajoyride)
It has nothing to do with my entry . haha

Love and Relationship ? Maniacal twosome that are pregnant with delirious wonder. Perfect combination to unlatch one's vigilant mind from sanity. We have been warned by those 'authors' above us. As a precaution to flip the caution sign on.

From a break up to another , i had my dark moments. Moments where the dark side clouded my destiny and white flags were waving arrogantly on the air. I questioned my fate to my friends, and they gave me text book answers. They proposed me a guidebook to get myself back on shape. I was stunned with how words don't need to sweat at all while action is just fatal. To commit an action was like committing a suicide.

It was all in the handbook. The rules had been set by cupid since dinosaurs first made love. Cheating, divorce, break ups, marriage , etc. . Each of them had their own page to scribble in the handbook. Every mankind had different situations, but same meaning . Different adjectives but same subjective.

For the modern generation, everyone wants a perfect relationship. Like the ones that chronicled as fairy tales that always had happy endings. Do you know that you can make it happen still? Stop living in such bad romance and spice up with better ingredients this time.

Here's a little suggestion. For guys, start tutoring yourself with lessons to be loyal. Hold her, be there for her, take the risk, loosen your ego. Girls were designed with such velvety heart by god. One miniature thing you did could give her a mega and everlasting impact. Do whatever it takes to wrap her face with laughter. Priceless. When she is at her lowest, tighten your grip and push her from the back. Be the jacket to her soul, provide the best security to keep her secured. Keep your promises. And lastly, show her that you are the man. And a true man doesn't land their hands on their girls. =)

For girls, start lessen up your selfishness and be considerate. Stop being too fussy. Relationship doesn't involve on one party only. Start playing your roles and responsibility. They have feelings too. They're not some dildo for you to play with. Hold him , be there for him, let him know that you can be trusted. By the way girls, they are not your financial support or your city bank. Sucking their money out is a severe thing to do.

I guess, i need to push a fullstop for this entry now. See you soon. Thanks for reading

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Throw away the TANTRUM

Yesterday , i succumbed myself to my tantrum. I was heated to the extreme core that i felt like punching the wall in front of me. Wann
a break all 10 of my phalanges. But of course i didn't. I don't seek for any revenge to my body parts just to indulge my spoiled anger. The only thing that sponsored to my relief was my tongue. I conversed all sorts of obscene words that i could ever think off. lol. But , some of them doesn't make sense though and it doesn't lay on anydictionaries.

When spasm of wrath explodes, some people have their own ways to liquidate the fury. Some throw their handphones, some cut their wrist , some just cry and mostly, they go die. As for me, i will sob like a baby when i lost my grip to my tantrum. Nothing to lose except for those tears. To me, cutting your wrist or any other suicidal plans are for cowards. I don't seek to be labelled as a coward and attention seeker.The world is now full with labels. Other human beings easily blended their sentences with cynical adjectives to others. That fat b**ch. - - Big a**- - stupid**$@*Etc etc. indifferent0028 Free Emoticons   Indifferent

Well, i shouldn't be pointing my middle finger at them for being trained as hypocrites. If perfection is what they think they have, then we can just laugh at them. Don't squander your precious time for people like that. Just go ahead and send some mercy or probably a bigger mirror. =D

p/s - I am cutting off my tongue. LOL. not literally . I am trying to shrink my tantrum. Wish me luck!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

untitled. ( fiction )

The night was purely exquisite. Stars sprinkled on the horizon with an appealing full shaped moon in between. I felt the soft wind in my hair, greeting me with a friendly figure. It was everything but perfect. I was getting numb with the chill of the night, my bone starts to ache , until i'd sense a burning heat behind my waist. The kind of heat that could melt every solids in my body.

'You shouldn't be standing here all alone, love.' Those words dangled in my eardrums, familiar voice that made my heart skipped a beat every single day. The voice that i longed for every second of the day. Obsessive music to my ears. I flexed my muscles on both ends of my mouth, gratitude of having the love of my life with me.

My fingers crawled blindly and finally met the gaps between his. Perfect combination, like it has always been. I settled myself around his muscly arms, feeling cozy. It was significantly even better than my bed.

' I know. I was hoping that you'd come sooner. '

I cleared the lump that stuck in my throat, as an attempt to make it less vulnerable for me to speak. I turned myself around, opposing him this time, waist still embraced neatly by his muscular arms. He owns a body of an athlete, never fail to impress me with its snugness especially during this time. His brown hair was pushed backwards by the wind , like the models in those magazines, even better.

From his bulky lips to his nose, my eyes finally drew a line at his dark brown eyes, which triumphantly killed the army of strength in me. I felt the gravity under my feet that tugs me closer to its stomach. My knees tremble, preparing for a major fall. I knew he was the one to be blamed for this insanity.

For a second there, the exquisite scene of the night was trounced by this divine man. If only looks could kill, i would definitely be lying on my death bed already. As if he was perfectly carved by god himself, in heaven with angels circulated around his waist. I'd always thought that he was far too good to be true. At least, too good to be true for me. .

'I'll miss you. Do you really have to go ? ' I had to constrain the words out. My breathe was ceased, made it harder for me to say another word. I tried holding the tears from falling but my vision was getting hazy. Almost painful to keep it from blinking.

Nate is in the military force. Every once in a while, he will be called for duty. Most of the time, he will be spending his weekends at random places, Iraq, Afghanistan and more. He offered himself for that job, as he had always loved to help those poor souls. It took me years to accept his job, but it was never easy . Half of the day, i'd be busy praying for his safety, another half, i'd be crashing myself on my bed accompanied by tears, with hopes that the day would end soon. My life is meaningless and entirely worthless when he is not around. Its like living life without a soul inside.

'Yes baby. I am sorry. I had no other options, love. You know i'll miss you too. ' He was already brushing the tears that i didn't realize its existence, with his warm fingers that landed on my cheeks. I closed my eyelids, trying to stop the tears again. I was running out of words, speechless . I crashed myself on his broad chest, the only place that has the ability to make me feel comfortable and secure.

'Please don't cry sweetheart' He sounded guilty. 'I promise i'll be back before you even know it.' I'd tell there was a weakish smile imposed at the end of the sentence. He tried so hard to sound as persuasive as he can just to make me feel better. It worked well before this, but not now, not this time.

Letting him go this time was harder than i'd expected. It was not only for a weekend or two like he usually did, but it was for 6 consecutive months. I was losing fortitude to even breathe. My heart almost stopped beating. It was impossible. Impossible for me to pull myself together without a part of me. I couldn't stop myself from picturing my life without him by my side. It was a fatal decision for me to make and this is madness. Either way, there were no other options left. The only road that was not yet taken is to let go of him and see him in 6 months time. I wanted him to be there, with me, not thousands of miles away from me. Although it was a part of his responsibility, to help people in need, those hapless souls that needed him, i couldn't let him go. He is mine. Mine . .

to be continued.

written by,

sara lisa