Saturday, October 15, 2011

Familia.. =)

Dear readers, 

I feel like scribbling a few lines about something.. About............... family. I just feel like eradicating these baggages of thoughts off my shoulder.. so yeah..

If you have a family..  A complete family.. Then i hate you.. Okay no.. Good for you.. I hate to break it to you but nothing lasts forever.. The bonds and strings that you have clinging to one another, treasure that while you still can.. Coz behind those bonds and strings, there's a lil bit of uncertainty. You are not God. You can't predict the future so might as well, get your guts up and prepare for the worst..

And when that day comes.. The day whereby the strings finally loosen *perhaps bitten by cupids themselves* you should know that life is a bloody straight road.. There's no U-turn.. You can cry all you want, even till your eyeballs jump out, you can't have those moments back.. The only thing you could live with is your memories.. WHICH will grow dimmer at one edge.. Who would have thought the sweeeetest memories could turn out to be the most bitter ones?

If you have a broken family.. Or an incomplete one. Apparently, the victim to a broken marriage..  or to death even.. Hey, you are not alone. The divorce rate is so high that i am afraid it has already touched the sky.. And death.. Death is like a tradition? People die.. The reality can be a bitch but that's how it is..

I feel you though.. Looking at other people's happy family, thinking, why can't i have that?? Why can't my family be perfect too? Why me? As much as i want to put the past behind my butt i couldn't.. It is hypocritical though.. I can't deny.. My parents are divorced but they are still the best of friends but yet, it's different.. I cry myself to sleep at times thinking, why can't i have back those good old times?? Why can't they be married again?? Looking at a perfect happy family thinking "Hey, i had that too" But nahh, the more i think about it, the more i realize that i should not be fretting about something that has already happened. 

On the bright side, at least my parents still see and talk to each other... That is good enough.. *behind every dark cloud, there's always a silver lining* I'd like to stick with that belief.

So i looked at the side of the picture.. The ones that don't really have a family.. Lost them to God's hands, etc.. Now, that is just.............tragic. There are babies who were born as an orphan.. Wow, that is one challenging journey.. So, with all those flashbacks about how atrocious other people lives are compared to mine, i began to assemble all those broken pieces, those leftovers that i still can have... trying my best to appreciate what i still have..

But hey, i am just flashing you a warning sign here.. Do appreciate your family. You will never know when the deadline is.. If you know what i mean. And.. my heart sinks a bit when i see people who could say something like "I can't wait to move out from the house!" or shits like that. You people are assholes..

Friday, October 7, 2011

The world is a stage

While the cloud was shedding tears, my mind was shedding thoughts. I rolled my eyes to every possible angle i could get, trying to scrutinize my surrounding.. And the aftermath was nothing but an ounce of misery..

The world is a stage.. And we are the players.. Every and each one of us has a role to play.. 

Most of us, may be the lucky ones.. Some of us, are living in heaven on earth.. We have a family.. We have a shelter.. We have food.. We have a home.. Some of us may have more than just one home.. We can indulge our wants.. Some can afford Ferrari, Lambo.. Lucky bitches.. 

And then there are other roles. The unfortunate ones.. Who get to live life differently.. Some of them were born to be an orphan, born with diseases, born with no hands or no legs, born with no senses, born with no face.. okay that's just too much.. So on and so forth.. No family.. no home.. no food.. Yes, they exist.. And like us, believe it or not, they have feelings too. They can cry. They need the needs that we need. 

The thought of them really oozed me with sadness.. But then my heart soothed a bit and i smiled.. The lucky ones in this world are not always lucky later on in the hereafter and these unfortunate ones.. With a bit of patience, they belong to no where else but the heaven.. The paradise that god created himself..

Sometimes i wonder, why do we have to take life so seriously when we are going to die anyway? This is not real. This is just a test. Some stage. Yet, most of us, live life like this is the only life we are gonna have.. It's not..

And before you feel sorry for these people, you should feel sorry for yourself.. For letting them live at the side of the street this way.. Some of them are old enough to be your parents or grandparents,  and some of them are young enough to be your siblings.

When you see these people.. Don't just look at them and feel sorry.. Help them.. They don't need your sympathy..

And dear assholes who tend to hurt them some more, give them insults instead of lending your hand.. You should probably start burning yourself now.. You know, practice makes perfect. 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

At the other side of the world...

Are you familiar with these pictures? No? Then you should jump off a cliff. 

Though i feel like gluing more pictures on my page but i couldn't. I lost the audacity as here i am, pursing my lips.. trying to hold back the tears.. These kind of pictures have never failed to tingle my eyes with woe. 

I can bet with all the money in my pocket (nothing) that you have heard so much about these people. These humans. These lives. Like us. They are not beasts nor aliens. They can't go on a day without eating.  They have to witness the death of their loved ones taking a departure forever.. But they left with no option. Their grief is bloody. Our grief could never kiss the butt of their grief. Never. 

So if you'll be like 'I have the most fucked up life on Earth' then you should probably eat yourself.

While they are struggling to survive.. While they are lying down under the scorching sun, praying and hoping for a better future.. While their brothers and sisters, or moms and dads, are at their death beds, cause of famine.. 

There is this one motherfucker multiplied by millions that are like this.

That one fat ass burger can feed at least 10 kids in Somalia. Where is the sense in that? I wonder. 

No wonder god takes the life of these obese people first. He's trying to save the food for the needy. 

Till then.


The torment intensified as i set my gaze on dad's disappointed face. I'd do anything to turn back the time, efface the frown on his face, eradicate the tension that he has been feeling .. but i couldn't. I have to abide the fact that i am his biggest disappointment.

If i could put a bullet in my brain, just to end this splendid misery, i would.. And if i could hoist the white flag up high in the sky, i would.. But i couldn't and i won't..I don't want to live with that 'Loser' feeling for the rest of my unpleasant life.. 

That horrible looking girl in this picture, i wish i could warn her not to hurt my father like i just did.. That man in this picture, he is my soul. He is my knight and shining armor. He is my very own version of superman. I want him to be happy. Always. He deserves it more than anyone else. 

Seeing him growing older and older each day is making me feel so tensed. I hate that i am not capable of doing anything about it. I am losing grip. sigh. I wonder if i would have the chance to make things right before his body stiffens..