Today, the waves from the ocean of my mind finally crashed into the shore of my senses. I drowned myself inside the oodles of thoughts about you when you hurled those despicable words at me ling. What slipped from your tongue made me savvy a stream of new things. I was hurt, i wanted to just whack you with a stick and choke you and see you die but maybe you were right after all. The bottom-line is, I was wrong. So, here I am, addressing an apology that's coming directly from my heart to you, love. I am sorry for making you feel that way.
When you are with me, i felt like a newborn baby again. Your taste of comfort is surreptitiously growing sweeter. So sweet that i yearn to be closed to you at all times. Your taste of comfort keeps my heart warm. I love how protective you can be and seeing you jealous, makes me smile. =D
By some means, i felt as if you are my knight and shining armor that i've always been dreaming of. =) My mind has always been pregnant with 'what ifs'. What if you hurt me ling. What if i hurt you. And i don't feel like going through this process where my heart breaks into lil pieces, and i have to watch you go. . My mind is painted with black thoughts and do neutralize it for me. And, i kept on thinking, (favorite what if of all time) i don't deserve anyone like you. For once, i admit i felt like a devil in an angel form . =D You are my angel =)
I made an oath to not fall for anyone but i failed. Who in the world could ever stop themselves from falling? No one. So, yes i lost myself to the gravity. In this case, you are my gravity. And your love is my gravitational force. =) I was transfixed when i heard those three words from you. But when i say 'I love you ling', it is not an empty promise. I can tell you this everyday without having even a pinch of apathy. *Told you i can be sweet!*
So here i am, scribbling these words at 4.49 am, telling you how much you mean to me. Every time the clock ticks, i had my mind painted with your face. Horrid truth! Everything that i see or do reminds me of you. I know i can be a real pain in the ass , and i know i can be annoying, and i know that i speak or do things without thinking. I know i know. But believe me when i say, hurting you is the last thing i would ever want to do ling.
Ps- i love you. =)