"I don't know if i will still have the chance to see you and your brothers accomplished something.. See your little brother graduate..That is my main goal you know.."
These words broke free from this man's lips.. Words that are enough to slit my heart open.. I strived to let my tears settle down but it went out like a bad menstrual flow.. You see, he is not just some man.. He brought me into this world.. He has been keeping me safe as though i am his everything since the first time i cried.. He has been giving me everything that a little girl could ever wish for.. He has given me love that any child could ever need. I am his princess.. his one and only.. People, i call him.. my papa..
Those words, were adorned with keen edges.. He's 61 years old and i am his first child.. At that age? He should already be travelling half across the world by now, relaxing by the beach.. play with his grandkids.. His kids are the ones who should be taking care of him.. Not otherwise.. But fate is fate.. What can i do?
Every night, i will sleep with my pillow flooded with tears, thinking.. what if today is going to be his last day? What if i don't really have the chance to make him proud? All those 'what ifs' flooding into the back of my mind, killing my soul bit by bit..
I love you so much papa.. I really do.. I know what i am capable of and i know i can make you proud.. Coz i believe in myself like you always do..
I can't scribble more.. These tears are not letting me..
Bottom line is.. I really hope that my dad would still be alive for the next 20 years.. That is MY goal..
And i can never picture myself living without him..He is my everything..My world.. My universe.. My heart.. My soul.. If he's gone, nearly everything about me is gone..
Ya Allah, please just don't take him away from me yet.. At least not when i am not ready..
So good bye for now..