Friday, September 3, 2010

coathed by the weather from the blues

Readers, its time for me to start seasoning my blog with new entry again. I am honoring my words by making constant updates. Challenging , but i need to sharpen my life with better things to do besides donating fats to my stomach and bulging my tension . . I am tasting the luscious freedom for a while. Drawing a finish line from things that wrestle with my bitter moods. I fed my immunity system with better words to digest . Making every internal organs of my body immune from any torments. . The whole system has been renewed. I computerized my brain to not key in the word 'vulnerable' and its siblings anymore. .

So, i was flicking through the pages in this magazine, and my gaze was stolen by this page about depression. Funny, every line fits the shape of my emotion which aches my vein. Its true that i was coated by the weather from the blues for months. I see my happiness dangled on the edge of its death from the windowpane and my hand was tight backwards. Useless. I was scratching my head the whole time, wondering what went wrong. I lost countless of hair for that, going bald. I pointed my finger at my hormones, but for once, they were innocent. It was just me. .

My mood beats along with the wave. Trembling on the ocean of pain. I am moodless half plus quarter of the day. Trust me, i was a fun person. Now, i am lost in the maze, seeking for my soul back. I am like a living corpse now, being pathetic. I miss being myself. Really do. And i am still proposing a research for the reasons to my behavior. Why cant i be happy?

So, readers, have you ever went moody for no reason ? Have you ever thought that you are just no longer you. Its hard for you to even laugh and brush-off the sick stiffen face of yours? If so, how do you cope with it.


Ruhil Rosley said...

people knows me coz they said i was the most cheerful person in the world. no even single tiny things can mess with me. but i thinks as we grew older our perspectives are getting more mature. and that how i become more colder than before. u're right it's not the hormone but it's just you. i dont care what people judge about me coz i know myself better than them. so babe, dont give up oke...

sara J said...

good advice darl. i wont give up thank uuu!

Rebelle Me said...

hye sara..
i've been moody for no reason sometimes..
myb it's just something that u dont know or unsure bulged in ur mind..
so u cant act normally..
i also dunno how to cope with this situation..
but mostly, i'll do something that might brighten my day..
makes me happy..
mingle with frens can help i guess..

sara J said...

Hey dear. Thanks for dropping by it means a lot to me. I agree on that. I know friends are always the cure. but when i am alone, the feelings keep on coming back u knw. it suxx.

Elaine said...

Aww sara darl.. Being moody for no reason sucks badly. Been through those times A LOT. But then some people says that its just part of life. Try to cheer up kay? You have us :D

sara J said...

thanks baby. uve always been a good friend for me. love yaa

ara said...

honestly i used to be moody all the time out of sudden and sometimes it can get as severe as the feelings of having breakups for every single hour.but thts not as difficult as it sounds sara,during my lows i hve my friends,you guys(fy kila sumelah!),family and myself.i try my best to live like im a total norm when you guys and theyre first i cope for an hour and the other remaing 23 hours i force my self to fake the smile just to see ppl around me hppy.idw them to go worry about me all the finding yourself,it will consume loads of time.infact nothg in ths world will settle just in a blink of eyes, sara,first pick up the pieces and start to move on.moody ke tak,u gtta smile,life is beautiful therere just stupid thgs that make it sucks,and your heart is a dummy (;P) when the lips are smiling it will fllw anytg tht used to make u hppy or else u try anytg it with anyone u trust and love sara :) idk if my words will be as useful as the toppest shrink in town will be saying to u but im just giving a shot in this and i believe it will work cz at the end of the day i just want u to be happy my friend.stop the mellow yellow marshmllw thing.smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

sara J said...

awww ara. takleh panjang lagi ke. uve always been a good friend too. But lately, kau too busy kot with ur spm n all. missing good old times. thanks babee

ara said...

yeah sorry bitch,but u have my words sara,I WILL BE BACK <3